Bismillah,
For past few days I have been very emotional. It affects the quality of work and perhaps my personality to a certain extend.
Majority of my friends probably gets sick of the way how I behave for past few months. From the point of changing jobs right up to the things that I rant about almost on a daily basis.
I took time this morning to reflect on the issues that causes this. Regardless the situation, I blame it entirely on myself. I have never blamed anyone else for the situation I am in and I can only hope Allah SWT will be merciful towards me and ease me in my suffering.
Oct 2013
This was the starting point. Towards end Oct / early Nov, I was in a meeting with my lead. Prior to that meeting, there was an announcement made by my boss to which I did not really think much of as how it is going to impact me.
I attribute this to my jovial mood then - having managed to register for my course in 2014, I made upfront payments for a semester and the bridging course fees in Dec 2013.
I have some money left and made plans to save more come bonus and commission pay out.
So during that meeting with my lead, he shared how it is going to impact me based on the first meeting with the boss. He later announced that I will no longer be getting my allowances - which is about 4 digits.
It will take immediate effect - Nov 2013 payroll. I was lucky that HR was unable to deduct it in Nov 2013 and i felt the impact in Dec 2013 payroll. I got lesser amount after that deduction.
Jan 2014 - April 2014
I was very sad of course. I could not save as much as I can and furthermore, I have to reduce my parents' allowance. Tell me, who among us would want to do that to our parents.
Mak has been generous to me. She paid for one of the semester fees as well. I shed tears thinking about it.
I was moody and took it out on myself - depress, i cried everyday but have to patient about it.
There's one evening after my appointment I was in Orchard road. I went to Paragon or Isetan (Cant remember which) and meet my late Kak Ann. Told her of my situation.
She ask if I am ok to work for her - take care of ladies shoes at Paragon over the weekend. The pay is $8.50 per hour exclude commissions. You know when you are desperate, you will do anything to cover up.
I work from 10 am to 10 pm - till April 2014. I left because it was too tiring. My legs was giving way - due to my slip disc.
Also, they paid too slow. I got commitments to settle.
What did I do? baking - and bachelor bakes was born.
Bachelor Bakes
Getting 1 or 2 orders a week may not mean much to some of you. However, to me it was a lifeline.
I reviewed all my expenses, stayed over at Mr L's place most of the time so that I can save money on transportation.
Moreover I can cook anything I want and bring it to work.
The hari raya orders was the best. With the amount of money I had collected, it lasted me till Hajj.
Great Friends
It is during these period that I confide into friend(s). Those that I can really trust and understand and don't make judgement about every single act that I do.
I have my friends who continuously texted / message me to ask how things are doing. Giving their doas and support and telling me to hold on. I am extremely touched and grateful.
There are friends who continuously ask me for my bakes and indirectly is helping me. One of them is Kak Ton. Without fail, she will always buy 1 cake from me every month. I am so thankful for her support.
Of course during such challenging times, you never know when help will come and they came from 3 different persons:
One such friend was Mr A. He loaned me about 2.5 months of my salary to help defray my fees. I have yet to return him anything - told me to take my time and stabilize myself.
Mr L gave me weekly support expenses to help me stay afloat while I slowly stabilize myself and get used to the changes.
Both men, stayed overseas and I meet them occasionally. Mr L, told me to take things easy and he knows my character really well.
An army mentor whom I respected so much during my NS days came to know of my situation and gave me a soft loan while things gets better.
New Job = Wrong Decision Making
With the completion of my course, I decided maybe I should try to find a new job and as Allah SWT wills it, I got an offer that I wanted.
Being the meticulous person I am, every single question I asked hence that's why I accepted the offer UNTIL I came to work.
I lasted for 11 working days.
I feel so useless. As Allah SWT decree, the day i left, another job offer came to which I am working till today.
At times, I wonder why I accepted it. Is it because I don't have a choice or is there something better awaits me?
I don't know what the future holds for me here. At times I feel like giving up but ALLAH SWT don't like us to give up. So I soldiered on cause I am very afraid if I go, He may not give me another one that easily.
Support
Thankful for the support that was given by friends who has been tasting my bakes - cakes or that cornflakes thing hahaa.. I have to swallow back MY WORDS.
Remember last year? I refused to bake honey cornflakes or chocolate chip cookies.
It's because it is tiring. However, I am determine to get myself out of this situation and therefore, I am taking orders for Hari Raya.
I thank all of you in advance for your support. I am here not to get sympathy but I believe I owe everyone an explaination to why I am doing all this.
I am sure there are questions of course and I am most willing to share it with you personally. This platform is a bit too public to air out everything.
Well, thank you for reading.
May we meet again. Inshaa Allah.
For past few days I have been very emotional. It affects the quality of work and perhaps my personality to a certain extend.
Majority of my friends probably gets sick of the way how I behave for past few months. From the point of changing jobs right up to the things that I rant about almost on a daily basis.
I took time this morning to reflect on the issues that causes this. Regardless the situation, I blame it entirely on myself. I have never blamed anyone else for the situation I am in and I can only hope Allah SWT will be merciful towards me and ease me in my suffering.
Oct 2013
This was the starting point. Towards end Oct / early Nov, I was in a meeting with my lead. Prior to that meeting, there was an announcement made by my boss to which I did not really think much of as how it is going to impact me.
I attribute this to my jovial mood then - having managed to register for my course in 2014, I made upfront payments for a semester and the bridging course fees in Dec 2013.
I have some money left and made plans to save more come bonus and commission pay out.
So during that meeting with my lead, he shared how it is going to impact me based on the first meeting with the boss. He later announced that I will no longer be getting my allowances - which is about 4 digits.
It will take immediate effect - Nov 2013 payroll. I was lucky that HR was unable to deduct it in Nov 2013 and i felt the impact in Dec 2013 payroll. I got lesser amount after that deduction.
Jan 2014 - April 2014
I was very sad of course. I could not save as much as I can and furthermore, I have to reduce my parents' allowance. Tell me, who among us would want to do that to our parents.
Mak has been generous to me. She paid for one of the semester fees as well. I shed tears thinking about it.
I was moody and took it out on myself - depress, i cried everyday but have to patient about it.
There's one evening after my appointment I was in Orchard road. I went to Paragon or Isetan (Cant remember which) and meet my late Kak Ann. Told her of my situation.
She ask if I am ok to work for her - take care of ladies shoes at Paragon over the weekend. The pay is $8.50 per hour exclude commissions. You know when you are desperate, you will do anything to cover up.
I work from 10 am to 10 pm - till April 2014. I left because it was too tiring. My legs was giving way - due to my slip disc.
Also, they paid too slow. I got commitments to settle.
What did I do? baking - and bachelor bakes was born.
Bachelor Bakes
Getting 1 or 2 orders a week may not mean much to some of you. However, to me it was a lifeline.
I reviewed all my expenses, stayed over at Mr L's place most of the time so that I can save money on transportation.
Moreover I can cook anything I want and bring it to work.
The hari raya orders was the best. With the amount of money I had collected, it lasted me till Hajj.
Great Friends
It is during these period that I confide into friend(s). Those that I can really trust and understand and don't make judgement about every single act that I do.
I have my friends who continuously texted / message me to ask how things are doing. Giving their doas and support and telling me to hold on. I am extremely touched and grateful.
There are friends who continuously ask me for my bakes and indirectly is helping me. One of them is Kak Ton. Without fail, she will always buy 1 cake from me every month. I am so thankful for her support.
Of course during such challenging times, you never know when help will come and they came from 3 different persons:
One such friend was Mr A. He loaned me about 2.5 months of my salary to help defray my fees. I have yet to return him anything - told me to take my time and stabilize myself.
Mr L gave me weekly support expenses to help me stay afloat while I slowly stabilize myself and get used to the changes.
Both men, stayed overseas and I meet them occasionally. Mr L, told me to take things easy and he knows my character really well.
An army mentor whom I respected so much during my NS days came to know of my situation and gave me a soft loan while things gets better.
New Job = Wrong Decision Making
With the completion of my course, I decided maybe I should try to find a new job and as Allah SWT wills it, I got an offer that I wanted.
Being the meticulous person I am, every single question I asked hence that's why I accepted the offer UNTIL I came to work.
I lasted for 11 working days.
I feel so useless. As Allah SWT decree, the day i left, another job offer came to which I am working till today.
At times, I wonder why I accepted it. Is it because I don't have a choice or is there something better awaits me?
I don't know what the future holds for me here. At times I feel like giving up but ALLAH SWT don't like us to give up. So I soldiered on cause I am very afraid if I go, He may not give me another one that easily.
Support
Thankful for the support that was given by friends who has been tasting my bakes - cakes or that cornflakes thing hahaa.. I have to swallow back MY WORDS.
Remember last year? I refused to bake honey cornflakes or chocolate chip cookies.
It's because it is tiring. However, I am determine to get myself out of this situation and therefore, I am taking orders for Hari Raya.
I thank all of you in advance for your support. I am here not to get sympathy but I believe I owe everyone an explaination to why I am doing all this.
I am sure there are questions of course and I am most willing to share it with you personally. This platform is a bit too public to air out everything.
Well, thank you for reading.
May we meet again. Inshaa Allah.
1 comment:
Hello Everybody,
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