The Past

It's amazing that I am writing / typing this from bus service 168 which I board from Tampines.
I was from an appointment earlier at ALPS and then went to White Sands.

While I was on my way to ALPS, I received a text message from someone who use to have the hots  for me. we were both young - I was 23, K was 19. Ask me out for coffee. I waited at Old Town White Coffee for K.

I never really give into my feelings for K and K is aware of that. Fast forward today, K looks so much better than the skinny person I know.

My heart skipped a beat when K greeted me. I was instantly reminded of the past. Those mushy declarations from K.

Definitely promises of a young adolescent not to be taken seriously. Somehow I felt funny when I left K at Pasir Ris MRT.

I somehow feel that K is laughing at me. The expanded me.

At 23 with a waist of 25", sharp features, I was a head turner. Now with bigger thighs and rounder face, proof of a changing lifestyle, the strings of suitors suddenly shrink and there's no one Q-ing anymore.

It's a sad truth but life goes on.

Emotionally I feel sad but hey, I'm happy.

I will get over this - eventually.

Love

Edz

Who are we?

Yes, that's my post is all about today.

Who are we? Who am I? What am I?

Have you faced these series of questions before? If yes, you aren't alone. Such questions arises usually when we face a situation that is beyond our understanding, a confusion that sometimes breaks our hearts, rendering us incapable of coherent thoughts much less common sense. In some cases, it can be suicidal.

We love to follow trends, mimic them or even recreate them. We will proudly declare that it's our brand and see if we can have our own followers. Everyone wants to be popular right?

It's evident in time today - the changing landscape of how we view fashion, religion, lifestyle, etc etc.

We then want to be fit into today's society so we can't wait to grow up - we study and work. We graduate and start work. We earned and we spend and we spend. The smart ones will earn, saved then spent while the berani mati will earn, spend, get a card, roll over credit and spent.

We wear the glamorous clothes, the stylish hijab amassing praises from friends and likes on Instagram and Facebook. We carry the Furla (I carry it) or the LV or the Birkin yet we are never fulfilled by our endless collection. The bling bling is the ultimate proof of our wealth or is it the postal code of our address?

We dine richly and want to be seen in clubs. We swipe the cards while sparing the cash. We pretend to have a life, yet our dirty secrets is never seen.

Yet how has all these define us? For the love of God, are we really becoming so bothered that we forgot the final clothes that wrap us isn't the fabric by Christian Dior nor we be accompanied by wealth and richness but by the simple white cloth.

And it's never been about the outside. It has always been inside.

Think about it.

Love

Edzy