Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Tahajjud

Assalamualaikum & Good Morning,

Alhamdulillah, it's Wednesday already - 20th June 2012. I had my IPT yesterday and I am still feeling tired but so far still good and Insya Allah for the rest of the day too and as usual, when you have dirty sweaty laundry, you don't keep them till the weekend to wash them, hence i slept like almost midnight as I decided to wash it together with whatever clothes that has been accumulated since Sunday. My laundry days are Saturday mornings.

Tahajjud is a voluntary night prayer, which was done by our beloved Prophet Muhammad pbuh. It has been related that it should be done about 3 or 4 am in the morning till Subuh.

The verses from Al Quran supporting this will be:

a. Al Isra Verse 79
(in malay)
Dan bangunlah pada sebahagian dari waktu malam serta kerjakanlah "sembahyang tahajjud" padanya, sebagai sembahyang tambahan bagimu semoga Tuhanmu membangkit dan menempatkanmu - pada hari akhirat - ditempat yang terpuji.
(in english)
And pray in the small watches of the morning: (it would be) an additional prayer (or spiritual profit) for thee: soon will thy Lord raise thee to a Station of Praise and Glory!

b. Al Furqan Verse 64
(in malay)
Dan mereka (yang diredhai Allah itu ialah) yang tekun mengerjakan ibadat kepada Tuhan mereka pada malam hari dengan sujud dan berdiri,
(in english)
And who spend the night before their Lord, prostrate and standing

There are many information on how to pray Tahajjud but I started off with 2 rakaat and lots of zikr and doa.

I have been having trouble sleeping for the past year or so and i notice that regardless what time i slept, i will wake up by 3.30am or 4 am in the morning.

Of course I am worried. What medical condition that i have that i cant fulfil my sleep?

Soon after, i was reading the Quran and came across the verses above and i started to read more information on it.

But last night was an experience totally.

I was so tired that I felt like sleeping and i know that since i am so tired, chances is i will miss subuh.
Hence, since i have yet to do Isyak I told to myself, wake up at 4 and pray - Isyak and Tahajjud and Subuh.

My eyes was wide open at 4 and quickly got up,wash up and prepare myself.

It is never about the quantity but about the quality and the consistency in doing it. Start slow and when you are confident do more and more.

There are benefits to performing Tahajjud though i would not want you to do Tahajjud to gain benefits. One should look at it as a completion of a daily routine or at least a sunnah that is being followed.

My intent was to start learning as I am reaching 31. I do not wish to wait till i am 40 to start doing all these extras - whereby your body may not be as strong as when you are younger.

In my own personal experience since i performed Tahajjud, i note that i am more patience in my dealings with my fellow colleagues / clients / relations. I realized that I cry more often alone - being afraid that my place can never be within those who are within His Favour.

I shared with my mother who encourage me to continuously learn and do it without any expectations.

Alhamdulillah, you can never guess His Favour upon you.

Last week, i managed to close 4 deals and those who are aware that I am doing sales now will know that closing deals = commission.

Subhanallah.

You have no idea how happy I was. Happy as in not proud happy but happy with tears glistening in my eyes each time i think about it.

I have no prior experience in sales and i am doing all i can, learn as much as i can to achieve my priority - which is to ensure that I can eventually take over my dad's responsibility so that he can slowly get away from the responsibility and start committing himself to Allah SWT.

It frees my heart from thinking about things i should not be thinking. I have no longer any desires except to make people happy.

And Insya Allah, i hope it may be continuously so.


Saturday, June 09, 2012

An Open Letter to Cik Citi Nadia

Assalamualaikum Cik Citi Nadia, If you are reading this, thank you. It is not in my intent or position to bring you down. It is my hope that when you write something or submitting an opinion or a post online that's against the flow of the moment, think carefully. I first read about her when I came across an article in Asian Correspondent by the journalist Kirsten Han. From then on it spread across local newspaper, facebook page, posts & updates on everyone's wall. When such news are featured, it's for a reason and for Lil Nur's parents it's about saving their little girl in whatever hope that's left for them & that is to turn their plea to the community. With a salary of SGD 1699 and a one room HDB flat, it is obvious that Lil Nur parents' need help - in any amount in any way we can. You do the Maths lady: SGD 1699 After cpf After paying bills After paying household expenses After paying food After paying medication After transportation to & fro the hospital trips? What's left? Their plea came perhaps when they learn of hope that transplant is possible overseas. They made a choice to publish the news of Lil Nur regardless whatever the outcome they accept. That's faith. Alhamdulillah, it breeds positivity and I have no idea what's the total amount collected because it is not my business to know. We gave sincerely in our desire to see a child get well, her parents' hope for getting that transplant even it means they have to go thru such means. You & I will never know their whole life story and it's never right to speculate on anything or anyone. What they have received from all of us are sincere donations that's given by a community. They did not lie their way to get it and it's halal & sincere from us. In my opinion, they still have that medical bills to pay for and you never know if it's enough. At least we are helping our own Singaporean girl. Perhaps Allah in His Grace decide that Lil Nur parent's been struggling so hard for Lil Nur and this is His Favour upon them - that what the community has given them is a form of rezeki to pay off all that expensive medical bills or whatever they have spent in ensuring that their Lil Girl gets the best medical care possible. That's faith. Whatever it is do the right thing. If you are brave enough to publish that tweet and it was mentioned that you tweet it because you got the right to your own view, be a brave lady and own up. Apologise and move on. Allah Maha Pengampun and I m very sure Lil Nur parents will forgive you too. Insya Allah. Al Fateha for Allahyarhamah Adlea Ry'Kyla Muhammad Ghazali & to the family - be strong :)

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Keredhaan

It seems more meaningful to write this entry in malay but for the benefits of the non-malay speaking I will try my best to write it in English and try to attain the same "feel" that it should have when written in Malay.

Keredhaan from the words re-dha (pronounced as ray-dar) which simply means - Trust. 

In this context Trust to Allah SWT.

Personally i find Redha goes well with Sabar (patience). 

If you are redha with a given situation and place your trust in Him and goes through it with patience, you are a winner. 

In life, there are many instances that you have to learn how to place your trust. 

I won't make comparisons among friends but i will just relate mine:

Majority of my facebook contacts are friends from different time of my life -  childhood friends, best friends, kewat friends, lesbian friends, whatever friends and as human, we will come across different types of people in our life.  

People are different, we are brought up differently and we are taught differently by our parents. As the eldest child and only child for the first 5 years of my childhood, I was very sheltered. Totally. 

When i started schooling, Euniz was born and that marks the end of pamperdom. I had to learn how to adapt to changes and i don't really adapt - at all. 

I have always believe that i can never relate to boys - they are smelly, loud, mischievious and rough. I was the opposite. 

Hence i mixed with lots of girls from my younger days as a child till today. I am comfortable with girls.

It is never smooth sailing though. I get teased a lot... which is pretty normal.. of course i admit i cried, i feel sucky, i got depressed, i went counselling and i rebel. I tried telling my mother but you know how parents are - they tell you to behave like a boy. But tell that to a 6 year old boy who doesn't understand WHY kids reject him back then and i said Am i Not A BOY (open my shorts and look in there!)?

And one day, it dawn to me that peoples' opinion dont really matter because i have mine. My life is mine to live and only Allah SWT judge. 

Who are they to bring me down? 

Should not they be helping me instead?

From then on, arm with a renewed energy, given a new lease of my life, i turn my life around to where i am today. 

Perhaps i don't earn a million dollars, but i got a million reasons to be happy. 

I can only look back that despite the numerous trials i face in my life, 2 things i uphold to: 
patience and redha... 

In my heart, i accept the reality of the situation. 
In my heart, i believe that eventually things will be better.
In my heart, i believe that with patience and determination, this part of my life will be over,
In my heart, i believe that with redha, you will eventually get what you want.

and all this is for who? not just myself, but the family that stood by me and see me cry every single day.

And i have always believe that those will ill intent will be fully rewarded by Him and i don't need to explain or resort to anything to make that happen. We have to accept the situation and we place our trust in Him and hopefully He makes it better for us. 

I accepted whatever they did to me and no matter how painful it is, i bear with it because i believe it is for me to endure. 

and with this coming situation that the family is facing, I urge all of you to pray for us in order to be guided by Him. Insya Allah, as a family, we will get thru this because we trust Him who decide all things. Amin.