If I could turn back time

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim,

I am very sure the title today would resonate with almost everyone. We make mistakes, we have regrets and try to salvage things and we hope for the best. We are only human.

So am I.

There are many times I wonder if something had  not happened, how would I be? Where would I be in life? What might I be doing? etc..the never ending list goes on.

In Islam, if you take it too seriously, it might be misunderstood that you are not thankful for the life that was granted for you.

Alhamdulillah, I am truly thankful to Allah SWT for blessing me with good parents who did their best to raise me up. In return, I am working equally hard to ensure that they are comfortable now and I hope they redha to the situation I am in now.

So now...how do we begin? Perhaps, I should begin from the day I was in secondary school as most of my early decision making days begins from then on:

1. If only I had paid more attention to my studies

Truth to be told, I was never a good student. It was probably because I was always burdened by financial issues at home that I took up a part time job during my schooling days. The money I earned helped with the school pocket money, the occasional cab fares and the shopping.

If ONLY I leave that part of history to my dad. However, to console myself, there are lessons learnt from that episode. I learn the value of earning money, how to spend it and how much I gave mak.

I didn't earn much - maybe about $60 - $100 per week working at KFC. I would give Mak about half. and I will keep the rest, spending only towards end of the month.

I would probably be a much more studious person, If I had not work, i probably scored well in my O levels too.

2. This is one of the biggest regret - IF only I didn't quarrel with Mak for my freedom.

At 18, those who know me that I was tightly controlled by Mak. I was with ITE and Mak will be forever asking questions where I go, who I go out with, why I go out...though the TIME TABLE is prominently displayed on my table.

I have band practices on Tuesdays and Thursdays and it stretched till quite late in the evening.

I was so irritated one day that I just tell her off to stop asking like as if she care. I was working, paying bills and schooling. Tell me, any teenager at that time who will not explode?

Mom let go but it became my biggest regret till today.

3. If only I had deepen knowledge in Quran - reading and translating it earlier in life.

I am quite capable in reading Quran though the tafsiran took many many years later. However, I urge all parents to start young with the children so that when they can master Quran, they can master everything else.

We are all blinded by worldly matters and religion will take a back seat at that point. It is however the other way round.


However, it is not too late as long as you live. Making up for lost time, I am striving towards what I had missed, what I crave or wanting for and to live only to meet these objectives.

May Allah SWT give me strength and mercy to meet them. Inshaa Allah.