I am sorry as i have been a bit too lazy to update my blog recently. Piccies updates, as usual at my blog. You can see my gorgeous picture together with my lovely sister up there on the main page :)
Today went visiting my youngest aunt (mom's sister) and my nenek Rahimah (as i understand it, should be granny's 2nd or 3rd cousin from mom's side)! :) I m very fond of her since i was a child and till this day i respect her very much.
Anyway, today someone posed me this question which i find it a bit difficult to answer considering the relationship that we have. Anyway this is not the very first time i was posed this question.
Most of my friends or even relatives who have come to my place before will notice something different. My sisters are rarely seen or heard of. The lady of the house - my mother will ensure that the elder of the 2 sisters to prepare the drinks, served and proceed back to the room.
My youngest sister will have to cover this duty when my the other sister is married so she is still in training mode.
It took me years to actually, step forward to have that small talk with uncles, aunties, cousins or even dad's friends etc. From young i been trained not to get involved in adult's talk - "orang tua berbual jangan suka mendengar or menyampuk" i think i was informally allowed to when i reached 22 then my parents invite me to join them for drinks when any elders came over.
Even then, the same principle applies when we go visiting. We are to keep quiet, not to speak in English, eat properly, dont create a mess - applies to spilling drinks or play with the displays items - in others dont be an irritant.
I think among the 4 of us, my brother would get the most punishment - he was the youngest then so a bit manja lah :)
if we ever create a nuisance - mother will give us a pinch on our thigh right there and then and i have to control my face otherwise i sure cry ok~ or a good stare that implies "balik umah nanti kau mesti kena".
Hence since i was a child, i have always been labelled a good kid ok~ mothers loveee me coz i dont make a racket at people's house.
Nowadays, i notice even among the most educated children, be it young or teens do not seems to have this automatic respect for their parents. I m not a parent neither i am married but i think you dont need to be married to teach children manners right?
I am aware that technology is very advance and with facebook and twitter apps on IPhone, we MUST actually look at the phone every single time there is a notification for a comment or a message. Seriously, even if we are in a guest house? i mean if i do that in front of my parents i get a earful when i reach home!
I am sure that parents value the "open relationship" that they have with their children and some parents allow children to speak up their mind BUT that applies between the children and the parents and it is not automatically applies to the extended family or any other elders.
I am fairly certain that some of my friends who are parents may get themselves offended and will blacklist my from ever coming to my future invites or watever parties i may throw. This post is not meant to be offensive. It is a reflection of proper decorum and behaviour expected from a child - if it is still baby and below schooling age, i can understand when they throw tantrums - but tantrum from a teenager??? i dont like that alright!
Take for example, a child who is being dragged to go to someone's house for hari raya and showed sour face thru out the whole entire duration. I mean that is not a good behaviour, think of the host. The host will be in a situation if she is supposed to talk to you or ignore you. As a child, give your parents some face also - otherwise people might think how you were taught by your parents.
Avoid speaking loudly when in guest house. Guests should maintain their voice and behaviour. For a girl, it is best if she keep quiet and for the boys too - talk when asked otherwise shut up and maintain the posture. Keep your cool and dont lose the smile.
Hosts should avoid asking and comparing children too - in terms of educational standards etc. this is hari raya dont talk about study can? why must compare ah...u very good next time u take over their time table lah...doesnt mean we stopped learning the moment we stopped schooling ok~
The best questions to ask a child is - how's raya, meaning of raya to their perspective, how are they, happy? then proceed to talk about school work. That's how u gain their trust.
whatever it is, all this lesson must be taught from young. I had experience all that and trust me it helps a lot by keeping quiet most of the time. I rather my children keep quiet than to embarrass me. they can join the conversation later, when they are older and can think better.
so now, if they dont listen how? it is not too late - just show them the cane. :)
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