Keredhaan

It seems more meaningful to write this entry in malay but for the benefits of the non-malay speaking I will try my best to write it in English and try to attain the same "feel" that it should have when written in Malay.

Keredhaan from the words re-dha (pronounced as ray-dar) which simply means - Trust. 

In this context Trust to Allah SWT.

Personally i find Redha goes well with Sabar (patience). 

If you are redha with a given situation and place your trust in Him and goes through it with patience, you are a winner. 

In life, there are many instances that you have to learn how to place your trust. 

I won't make comparisons among friends but i will just relate mine:

Majority of my facebook contacts are friends from different time of my life -  childhood friends, best friends, kewat friends, lesbian friends, whatever friends and as human, we will come across different types of people in our life.  

People are different, we are brought up differently and we are taught differently by our parents. As the eldest child and only child for the first 5 years of my childhood, I was very sheltered. Totally. 

When i started schooling, Euniz was born and that marks the end of pamperdom. I had to learn how to adapt to changes and i don't really adapt - at all. 

I have always believe that i can never relate to boys - they are smelly, loud, mischievious and rough. I was the opposite. 

Hence i mixed with lots of girls from my younger days as a child till today. I am comfortable with girls.

It is never smooth sailing though. I get teased a lot... which is pretty normal.. of course i admit i cried, i feel sucky, i got depressed, i went counselling and i rebel. I tried telling my mother but you know how parents are - they tell you to behave like a boy. But tell that to a 6 year old boy who doesn't understand WHY kids reject him back then and i said Am i Not A BOY (open my shorts and look in there!)?

And one day, it dawn to me that peoples' opinion dont really matter because i have mine. My life is mine to live and only Allah SWT judge. 

Who are they to bring me down? 

Should not they be helping me instead?

From then on, arm with a renewed energy, given a new lease of my life, i turn my life around to where i am today. 

Perhaps i don't earn a million dollars, but i got a million reasons to be happy. 

I can only look back that despite the numerous trials i face in my life, 2 things i uphold to: 

patience and redha... 

In my heart, i accept the reality of the situation. 

In my heart, i believe that eventually things will be better.

In my heart, i believe that with patience and determination, this part of my life will be over,

In my heart, i believe that with redha, you will eventually get what you want.

and all this is for who? not just myself, but the family that stood by me and see me cry every single day.

And i have always believe that those will ill intent will be fully rewarded by Him and i don't need to explain or resort to anything to make that happen. We have to accept the situation and we place our trust in Him and hopefully He makes it better for us. 

I accepted whatever they did to me and no matter how painful it is, i bear with it because i believe it is for me to endure. 

and with this coming situation that the family is facing, I urge all of you to pray for us in order to be guided by Him. Insya Allah, as a family, we will get thru this because we trust Him who decide all things. Amin.