Syukran Allah or Thank you Allah begins this post.
At exactly 1902hrs today, i received an sms from the army that i am not required to serve the overseas training which will be held from the 7th November 2010 - 24th November 2010.
There are many reasons that i can actually write out here but it reflects a lot on me. I have a family to honour and i shall keep it enclosed within my heart why i dont wanna go. I think let the personnel who happen to see the doctor's letter be the one to know what happen. Nothing shall escape my lips.
However, a few people to thank for being such a strong pillar of support!
1. My new CQMS - Abang Herman or SGT Herman.
i got to know this father of 2, a very quiet, reflective & pious individual earlier this year when he came to join our unit for the very first time for an incamp training. It took me a while to warm up to him but no regrets :)
His knowledge of religious views is vast and i can share with him my thoughts without being oppressed. Of course i must always draw the line that he is an elder and he deserves all the respect from me.
Truly, he is one of those whom i shared the reasons. I am very very afraid to go. On Oct 18, i told him i feel very depressed. He told me to continue praying & believing in Him.
Prior to that 01st Oct was the briefing, and i told him how i felt after it. Immediately i didnt waste time and decided to check in to the poly clinic to get referrals to get to the hospital for a medical review.
My review was done on the 15th Oct, and deferred submission on the 16th.
On the18th they called me and i started having goosebumps and nausea and all that which is associated with feelings of uneasiness.
His smses are very reassuring. His encouraging words are something that i rarely hear of from my own father too. Imagine at 29 i m still afraid? you have no idea what i went thru in life.
What strikes me most is his patience with people around him, the way he advises me - that i have to open my heart, relief myself of all worries and let Him handle it for me. He encourage me to continuously zikir or glorified Him and share with Him my worries.
I recollect my thoughts, gather all the calmness and begin my non-stop zikir till i slept.
I was more calm.
19th October went to submit my kit bag and went to medical centre to meet the MO. The review by MO was not that fantastic but i guess they do want us to go. Hence again i trust Allah will never forsake me. Hence i continue believing in Him.
21st - the result of patience. ALL I CAN SAY ALHAMDULILLAH ALHAMDULILLAH ALHAMDULILLAH!
Abang Herman you are like a brother that i never have. I am truly thankful for your guidance. You said that I bring you closer to Him but actually you narrow the gap i have with Him. May He gives you the best that He has ever give to anyone! :) AMin.
2. Next is my colleague - Abang Jati
He seems to know that i look very pale and sickly because of the deferrment case. He also advise me to zikir and glorified Allah. i guess he seconded Abg Herman's suggestion indirectly! :)
Thank you to Abg Jati for being such a great soul.
3. Next is one of my friends who never fails to make me laugh - Surjali Aslah!
I went to him to ask for an opinion on prayers to calm the heart after Jati. He advise me to zikir and also glorifed Him & say salam to the Prophet PBUH.
My thanks to you too.
Alhamdulillah.
May Allah bless all of you. I have never been so blessed i have been felt so love and thankful.
You have no idea how much this deferment means to me. At least i can plan my life ahead for another month or so.
Thank you abang Herman, abang Jati & Jali! I love you all. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah!
And with that news, it seems appropriate to sujud syukur for the wish that came true. Amin.
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